Doodling

I used to doodle a lot when I was working.  Long conversations or waiting on the phone gave life to my pen and notebook.  I'd do it unconsciously and when the call ended, I'd realise that a doodle was formed. Some made me smile while others made me wonder about what was going on in my subconscious mind.

While on Pinterest I stumbled upon many doodles that mesmerised me.  They were such detailed works of art that clearly entailed planning and a very steady hand.  Certainly not for the faint-hearted artists or amateur doodlers!

Anyway, since I was prone to unconscious doodling, I thought that I would check out what conscious doodling would look like.

It wasn't easy.  

I needed to be distracted to doodle.  When I held pen to paper with the sole intention of doodling, the creative side of me didn't flow naturally.  In my opinion, it ended up an epic fail.

B U T  one day I showed it to Stephen and his first response was, "you did that?".  Not in an unkind way, I should add.  He seemed impressed.  This made me take a second look at my doodle.

Okay, it's no picasso or zentangle by any stretch of my own imagination but it's an original and it's mine!

Although I bought this black book, months ago, with the intention of filling it with "to-marvel-at" masterpieces, this didn't happen.

Will I pick it up one day and start again?  Yes.  But not now.  Until then, it's my secret doodle and maybe after this declaration that I cannot do it, I'll finally be able to finish what I started.  

Life is sometimes like that.  Just when you accept your inabilities, they turn around and become your best abilities.

A different kind of difference

Image from Pinterest

There are many people who come and go in our lives. Some leave us better people and others, well, they gave us a taste of what being bitter is all about.

I'm not one to waste too much time analysing or dissecting when any relationship goes awry.  I'll give it my best shot and then if it works, it's great but if it doesn't, I'll just move on.  

I did this for most of my life.  Yes, I've gained and lost along the way but nothing is permanent in this ever-changing world.

I felt a bit nostalgic this weekend because a friend sent me a text for Teacher's Day.  She was my student in the 80s and even when we never saw much of each other, we eventually became quite close and we feel a bond of love for one another.

What struck me and touched my heart was that she still remembered me as a teacher.  It's been over 30 years since I taught her but she still holds those memories.  I'd forgotten that was how we first met!

This greeting from her made me smile all day and little did she know that I've noticed she never misses to wish me whenever Teacher's Day comes along (since we reconnected).

Most teachers never get to see if they made a difference in the lives of their students.  They just do their job and hope that everyone will end up better than when they first came.

My friend, however, has given me a glimmer of the seed planted long ago and shown me that I made a difference in her life just as she continues to do for my life.

There are other students who have kept in touch and who have also shown love and appreciation but the one that stands out is Wendy Voo.

Thank you for the loving and lovely message on Saturday and on every other occasion too.  It made me remember why I love teaching so much. 

It's knowing that I made a difference in the life of just one person that makes it all so wonderful.

He will bring me through it.

I have said this to myself countless times and I have also said it to many others who needed to hear this. Whether it helped them or not, I don't really know.

However, when I say this to myself, I get a sense of comfort from the knowledge that I am not alone.  

But even if I lose sight of God's Grace for me, I'm blessed with a husband, my partner-in-Christ, who doesn't fail to remind me. 

It's always a win-win kind of situation.